Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
