How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize