i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
