Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize