She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
