Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
