I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
no you cant smoke seaweed
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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