I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize