i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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