is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
