What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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