is your mom at the bar?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
