garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
