wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
