just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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