So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
