everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize