We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
now i know why i became what i already was.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
