Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
