is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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