he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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