Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I am naked and annoyed.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
