Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize