you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
