I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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