oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Screwed.edu
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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