your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
