I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My bed smells like the plague
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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