The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
