it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
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I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
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No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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