But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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