we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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