I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
