I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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