she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
