i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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