Grow some girl-balls and come out already
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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