I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just want to make out with him forever
I have so many feelings about this burrito
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
