coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
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