is your mom at the bar?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
