this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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