i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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