thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
they're like a gay fantastic four
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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