Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
