Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
