I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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