where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
