Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
