I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
