We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
