im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
