I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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