Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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