Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
