I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
