just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
