I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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