So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
